hey my dear angels..
its been a while since we updated this blog so i tot of sharing how i feel at this moment now that im in the states...
some of my friends are kinda avoiding me at the moment due to some dispute that i had with them last quarter, before i came back to malaysia... i really cant remember what happen between my friends n i that coz me to get so mad at them that time. all i know is that i was very angry that time that i exploded infront of them. :(
later after that incident, things get back to normal. we din speak of what happen til i came back to malaysia, things were normal between us. at least that was wat i tot...
when i came back to the states recently, i found out that my friends were actually very scared of me. they were so worried that they were gonna hurt my feelings again n din want history to repeat itself. thus, the akwardness between us and also the keep-the-distance attitude. i felt it when i first arrive but i din know wat was the reason. now i know...
i just foud out bout the reason yesterday when another one of my friends told me bout it. i was too shocked to find that my actions actually cause my friends to stay away from me. i dunno how to describe my feelings now.
i cried yesterday infront of one of my friends. just sat there. stoned. sad n regret that i actually exploded just like that the other day.
the saddest part was i know that i cant do anything now to change the past. i hope ill get better with my friend but its really hard.
the friend that im talking bout is yanru. remember the gal i say always have affair with other guys wan. n her ex bf is the indian guy... anyways, she is super close to the chinese guy that she use to have afffair with n that guy dun really like me. he keep reminding her of wat i did to her when she tries to talk to me in msn. n then she will be so akward with me til i cant do anything. im also starting to feel so akward infront of her already.
we used to be able to talk bout almost anything but now.............. :'(
so i just wanna say sorry if i use to be like that. i really dun want the same thing to happen to u guys just like how it happened to yanru n me...even yuen mei my best friend is also very afraid that she will hurt my feelings... :(
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2 comments:
yin yin, dun worried, everything will pass. i really hope tat i can be with u to shared everything with u. i really dun know wat to say but wat i can say is be strong ky, sooner or later things will pass n everything will be back to normal. so dun worried too much..my mental support is always there for u.. be strong ky.. we won;t repeat the histories.. remember tat once u also feel down because we hurt your feelin... we still stay as best buddies till today.. so du worried,, things will go...
i hope so nicky.. thanks for the support. miss u all so much! take good care of urself over there. i hope things get back to normal like how it use to be with my uni friends. tata
kheryin
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